Friday, April 16, 2010

When i think about all the stupid procedures that humans follow without thinking, i usually can get very worked up and stressed out. For example, how about the idiotic procedure of drinking the poison of alcohol as a “social lubricant.” One of the distinctions between the so-called attacking “terrorist” enemy and the defensive, warring Western World is alcohol use. We like to think the issue is freedom, but the “terrorist” side sees how humans react when imbibing alcohol and concludes that alcohol is a ridiculous substance to use. Sober logic would seem to confirm the judgment of our “enemy.” As an alcoholic who previously misused the substance (just as virtually anyone who has ever been drunk does), i feel such pain when i see people hooked on the substance as i was, in complete denial about it, and slowly losing creativity, friends, and vitality. When i realize that our society is constantly pushing alcohol on us as a “cool” activity, i get angry that such a conspiracy of stupidity flourishes largely unchecked. The celebrity alcoholic is always shown to be having a wonderful time -- laughing, loving, just enjoying life’s precious moments. In actuality, the celebrity alcoholic is frequently spinning out of control and about to lose much that had been gained in popularity and financial assets.

What is exasperating to me is that we know alcohol causes unnecessary and inordinate numbers of deaths, yet so many individuals make fun of themselves for getting drunk (and i used to be one of them). A typical social tweet or text message might read: “Got wasted last night. Couldn’t speak coherently, but was around other drunkards, so it’s all good.” And many of us laugh -- at such a sad situation. This cultural idiocy is one of the major reasons we are at war with Islamic fundamentalists. Would we willingly give up alcohol to end war? We would not be able to give up alcohol in this society unless the corporate conspiracy that promotes alcohol sales were dismantled or transformed. And it could be dismantled or transformed if each current alcohol-consuming individual made a transformative decision to lead a completely healthy life and only pursue creative bliss.

I also get angry about improperly programmed traffic signal robots that erroneously signal cars to stop and cause a build-up of a traffic line when there is no traffic, pedestrian or vehicle, in the opposing direction. What fascinates me is if i go through such a red light, when it is clearly safe to do so, a driver who is stopped will often honk his horn wildly at me. Then he will break the speed limit to race up to me and wave his “naughty finger” at me, after he has just broken the speed limit, and speed causes more accidents than safely passing through an intersection with no traffic. I have never had an accident at an intersection in over 40 years of driving, and i have gone through over an estimated 100,000 red lights. But just this process of writing helps me reduce my stress. I getting it out of my system. If enough people read this and think correctly on this issue, then possible the traffic officials and politicians will spend money on more sophisticated traffic controlling robots -- like adding eyes to them and not cameras that record licenses for going through red lights even though it is safe to do so!!!


When i am able to articulate that which is bothering me in my own mind and deliver the thought outside my brain, i notice that i feel relieved. My advice is to harness anger that may be causing stress by “getting it off your chest.” If you really want to feel good about getting your message out, don’t just write to yourself. Write to a blog. Write to more than one blog. Write to a dozen blogs! (See the blog forums that i belong to in the right column.) That’s what i’m doing, and I can sense palpable stress reduction.

Reducing stress is very important to our long-term health. Richard N. Fogoros, M.D., reports: “...the surge in adrenaline caused by severe emotional stress causes the blood to clot more readily, increasing the risk of heart attacks.” So I say: try blogging as a way to reduce stress, because it works for me! BTW, when you are concentrated in writing and copying your writing into numerous blog accounts for publication, you won’t be drinking alcohol. (But if you are drinking alcohol, you will make mistakes, eventually get depressed, have a terrible hangover, and feel like you need to drink again by 5 PM the next day -- i know from experience!) Take it from an experienced alcoholic, sober blogging is infinitely better for your health and the community than drinking the night away in self-indulgence.

BTW, if you don’t like to write, then make podcasts and/or videos! (I’ve included a list of podcasting and video sites at

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Tiger Woods & His Love Boat

Well, i've got to admit it: i'm following this story about Tiger and his mistresses around the world. Although i've been in a monogamous relationship (as far as i know) for 21 years, i would have to honestly tell you that if i were in Tiger's position (enormously rare wealth, being sought after by beautiful women, traveling away from home, and being under pressure during tournament play), i'd probably do exactly what he has apparently been doing to relieve anxiety and loneliness. When are we going to admit it? It is next to impossible to have these perfectly monogamous relationships (even Jimmy Carter admitted to lusting after women in his imagination); sexual interest wanes after dozens, hundreds of times with the same partner. Nature provides so many beautiful individuals to stimulate our lust. If we have opportunity, many of us will go for the orgasm and worry about ramifications later. Nonetheless, that necessary orgasm to relieve tension does not diminish the love for our marriage partner. Love can endure between partners who understand the nature of man, forgive, and work on a wonderful friendship that can grow even stronger as a new dimension of honesty is explored.

I wish Tiger the best in working out these private problems that so many couples face.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Love: Fantasy Love v. Real Love

I'm not sure how it happens, maybe through a combination of TV, movies, books. You know, through fictional accounts from a number of single creative minds, usually struggling with loneliness and resolving it with a fantasy about love, we are given the impression that love is a state of euphoria that one reaches. Marriage is the way to guarantee the euphoria will never end. These are the cultural myths perpetuated by religious organizations and Hollywood money-makers. Then reality sets in. There are money problems; kid problems; perception problems.

Two parents working is not enough to make ends meet; or, if it is enough, both parents are completely exhausted and have virtually no time to hug each other.

Kids learn new words like "moron" from their playmates at school, and they throw around the such words loosely, alienate relatives, and we defend them because we love them. Kids can't remember what they learned in school from the last year, yet our taxes are high because the schools are so good.

One spouse perceives Obama as peacemaker, and the other cannot see one constructive action Obama has done to establish peace. One spouse thinks national health insurance will save money; the other thinks it will bankrupt an already bankrupt nation.

Half of marriages end in divorce. The other half do not because the individuals involved probably have a realistic expectation of what love is -- it is caring enough to be flexible, to say you're sorry every 15 minutes (as John Lennon contended), and to understand that sexual attraction wanes.

Love is a many splendored thing, and most of all it is a renewing commitment to working together to meet the problems, one day at a time, one problem at a time. That's real love.